Say Goodnight!

Originally published November 22, 1985. From gocomics.com

The first bedtime ritual I remember was listening to Pachabells Cannon in D. I was so young that I thought it was and said it was "Taco Bells Cannon." It must have been on a loop for an entire side of a tape because for years I would go to sleep to it or the next song which was on the other side of the tape which was J.S. Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 5. There were other rituals. My dad would come in and bless us. I didn't have imaginary stuffed animal friends that I would insist on him blessing. I had a brother instead, but I am sure he would have done so if asked. However, my main bedtime ritual since I could do it up until the present has been reading.

Legend has it that when I was eight or so, sometime in elementary school, that I bothered my parents about not being able to sleep one too many times and so they handed me a flashlight and a book and told me to knock myself out. I have no idea what the book was. I didn't mentally keep track of what I read until middle school when I picked up Tom Clancy's Patriot Games and was quite proud of myself that I had tackled a 700 page political spy thriller novel. Anyways, ever since then I have read a book before going to sleep. There are very very very few nights when I have not. My brother has learned to sleep regardless of the light levels in the room thanks to me. When traveling I keep a flashlight and my current book in my bag. I read like this all through college and grad-school no matter what I was supposed to be reading. Sometimes I would fall asleep reading and wake up at 2am on my parents couch with the lamp still on. Sometimes I would stay up until 3am after going to bed around 11pm too engrossed in a book (Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett takes the cake for this) to go to sleep. Usually though my eyes gets tired and I put the book down, turn off the light, and crash. Which is one of the rules.

Oh yes there are rules.

1) The book has to be enjoyable. No reading dictionaries for me. No reading assigned books or text books. Those are for homework time, not bed time. This is supposed to be a pleasant way to end the day.

2) When you can't read anymore, stop, turn out the light and go to sleep.

3) When other people are sleeping in the room/tent use as little light as possible. Usually a flashlight, sometimes a lamp. The overhead light only with expressed permission. 

4) If the book is almost done, have another one ready. Preferably in arms reach. It is acceptable to have a source of books such as a private library, in the dwelling but too much time can be taken trying to find something that "feels right" so it is best to be prepared.

5) Go to sleep. This has become more important as I got older and actually decided I wanted to get up in the morning. As you can imagine this habit especially with real page turners made me something of a "night owl." When there was no school my parents were lucky and usually shocked to see me up before 10am of my own free will. In fact they are still shocked when they see me up before 10am of my own free will. I would talk about what made me change this way of life and willing to get up at 6am on a regular basis but it is a completely different story and will have to wait for another post. So now regardless of whether my eyes are about to weld together or not, at about midnight, I call it quits. Most of the time. Sleep is important.

I am trying to think of any other rules...

6) The books cannot cause or encourage nightmares. Some of my earliest night reading, even before Tom Clancy was the classic Hardy Boys mysteries my dad had. I think I read three or four of them before I made a connection between them and restless sleep. I don't read much horror because of this. Some Steven King, particularly The Stand, and The Gunslinger Series I got through, as well as The Witching Hour by Anne Rice, but that is the extent of my horror reading. I am sure that there were some nights when reading those novels I picked up something lighter and saved them for daytime reading.

The only time I plan on not reading before bed is on a meditation retreat where I fast from reading books completely. I do this partly to see if I can, and partly because it is a time for the mind to really settle over several days in a supportive environment. Books, even good meditation ones churn the mind up and give me lots to think about. I have considered giving books up for lent, but it hasn't happened yet.

Finally I should say comic strip books make for lousy bedtime reading. They are too funny (or not funny enough) and really unwieldy to hold up when lying down.

Feel free to share you own bedtime rituals below in the comments.